by isaac black

There’s nothing like quitting a job. For the last five workdays I’ve had the positive luxury of choosing which tasks I care about. I’ve been wrapping things up, trying not to leave the people on my team with a huge mess. I’ve also been savoring watching emails come in that I don’t have to address. I’ve never really phased out of a job like this, and it might be even better than just peacing out.

I was talking to a coworker who is quitting two weeks after me. She’s moving to California, but in a mindset I don’t understand she wants to jump into a new job right away. She’s in an admin role and wants to accomplish something. I had commented before about how people assume I’m moving on to something else, but this made me consider that maybe most people (at least among my white collar peers without dangerous, injurious jobs) like having the structure of something to do every day. I definitely like having something to do, but I hate the structure and obligation. I hate tedium; I hate repeating something that I’ve already learned how to do. I need challenges. In that way I think I’m similar to my coworker, but I would rather challenge myself on my own terms and not on my employer’s.

At the same time, as it gets closer, I’m starting to feel the anxiety of stepping into the void of very little income. It feels a bit like a cliff, and while last week I felt like I could lift off at any moment, my parents’ voices pop into my mind as I get closer.

Tomorrow though is the last staff meeting I’ll ever have here.